Free love takes Estonia to Europe for good

On the one hand, it is a great joy for people who can make their love official and finally find protection from the state as couples and families, who will henceforth enjoy the same rights, obligations and opportunities as all spouses have in relation to their partner. On the other hand, this momentous change in Estonian society must also be seen in broader terms: as an important step in terms of values, a decision positioning us in a changing world and, indeed, ultimately, a question of security.

Estonians like to see themselves, and to a certain extent rightly so, as the prodigy of Eastern Europe, succeeding in many reforms that not all countries in the region have managed to pull through since the regime change 30 years ago. With this step, we can once again stand out in the same way. Estonia is the second Eastern European country after Slovenia and the first of the former USSR countries to have legalized marital equality.

In doing so, we are joining the majority of European countries that have made same-sex marriage legal already many years now, including all the Nordic countries from whom we often want to learn. Around the world, marriage equality is now in force in 35 countries, most of them in Europe and the European Union (in Spain, for example, 3.2% of all the marriages are between same-sex couples), but also a number of countries in the Americas, including Chile, Brazil, Argentina, Cuba, Uruguay and Ecuador, in addition to the US and Canada. Also, Taiwan, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand belong to this club. Several countries in Asia and Europe, including our southern neighbours Latvia and Lithuania, are currently discussing the legalisation of cohabitation or same-sex marriage.

Although on the face of it this is a step that primarily concerns people’s private lives, the fierceness of the national debate shows that it is a profound value decision that affects everyone in their own way. With this courageous step, Estonian society has shown itself as more tolerant and inclusive; a society that accepts diversity and extends the protection, rights and obligations of marriage to all adults who wish to marry. There are certainly people who are wary of major changes and shifts in values and would prefer the status quo to remain. They can be reassured by the experience of other countries that this decision will not lead to an imbalance in society or other disruptive developments.

Many felt that this was primarily a nationally polarising issue that would have little impact on Estonia and Estonians looking from the outside, but this assessment is deeply mistaken. It is worth noting that, at the same time, another process is underway to our east – as part of the process of social equalisation, in December the Russian Supreme Court adopted a decision declaring the international LGBTQ movement an extremist organisation. Anyone who takes any action or even speaks out in support of the LGBTQ community risks being labelled an extremist and facing criminal sanctions.

Marriage equality is yet another decision that will take Estonia firmly away from the legacy of the past and deeper into the European world of values to which we have chosen to belong. While most countries of the European Union are today facing very difficult decisions on a variety of issues, be it the green turn, further support for Ukraine, polarizing attitudes to immigration or a stagnating economy, the pillars, the fundamental values on which European unity stands, are not in question. Human rights are one of the core values on which today’s shared European cultural space is based, and the right to express one’s love and commitment to one’s partner in marriage is one of the fundamental rights of the human person. More than 100 years ago, Gustav Suits, an Estonian thinker and writer, uttered his famous phrase: let us be Estonians, but let us also become Europeans. With this step, we are reaffirming – as Estonians, we are also Europeans.

At first glance, the phrase seems absurd, but it is not. Firstly, this value-based self-definition – we are part of the West, and we firmly step away from the past as well as habits and values we have dragged with us and that would hinder us in today’s world, not support us. Estonia’s move has been very well received in the international media, it has been noted. Although it is something of a private matter, it has helped us yet again to re-frame ourselves as a progressive, European-minded society with which the average German, Portuguese or Belgian finds it increasingly easy to identify.

Once again, we have drawn down the ‘us and them’ line and made a clear choice about which side of that line we want to stand on. I hope that other countries in our region will soon do the same. The more united our understanding of the world and the more shared our values, the easier it will be for the citizens of each country to understand why their neighbour’s security is also their own and why we must help in any way we can.

And finally, this decision will in fact support our security within Estonia itself, at a deeper, individual and community level, at a level of a more cohesive society. A society that accepts its own in their differences can rejoice in a stronger sense of belonging and identity among its citizens, a growing sense of patriotism, and thus a greater will to defend. Although we are all different people, sometimes with different perceptions of what is good for Estonia, we share the same basic values and belief in human rights – both within Estonia and more broadly, in Europe.